The Positive-Negative Relationship Quality Scale (PN-RQ)

A free, confidential 16-question self-assessment that takes three to four minutes. The PN-RQ maps where your relationship currently sits on two independent dimensions — positivity and negativity — and shows you which of four patterns best describes it.

What the PN-RQ measures

Two dimensions, scored separately. Each is reported as an average out of 5, with the dividing line at 3.

Positive relationship quality

The support, affection, fun and energy present in the relationship. A higher score here means there is substantial positive experience to draw on, which is one of the strongest protective factors a couple can have. A lower score suggests things have gone flat or distant, with little enjoyment left in the ordinary run of the week.

Negative relationship quality

The conflict, stress and discouragement present. A lower score means relatively little of it. A higher score means there is substantial conflict, which is draining in itself and tends to spread into other parts of life if it is not addressed.

Why the two are measured separately

This is the whole idea behind the instrument, and it is worth understanding before you read your result.

Most relationship questionnaires place satisfaction on a single line running from good to bad, which forces every relationship into one position and loses most of what is actually going on. The PN-RQ treats the positive and the negative as independent, because in real relationships they are.

That is why a relationship can be high on both — deeply connected and frequently at war — or low on both, with no fighting and no life either. On a single satisfaction scale those two land in roughly the same place, and they could not be more different to live in or to work on. Your combination is the finding, not either score on its own.

The four relationship patterns

Flourishing — higher positivity, lower negativity

Plenty of support, affection and shared enjoyment, without much conflict or stress. This is the pattern most strongly associated with relationship satisfaction and with health more generally. It is worth protecting deliberately rather than assuming it will hold on its own.

Intense or ambivalent — higher positivity, higher negativity

A strong connection alongside real conflict. Couples in this pattern often describe themselves as passionate, or as loving each other but not being able to stop fighting. The good news is that the positive material is genuinely there and does not have to be built from scratch. The work is on the conflict, and it is usually productive, because there is something underneath worth protecting.

Flat or disengaged — lower positivity, lower negativity

Little conflict, and little energy either. This pattern is easy to miss because nothing looks wrong from outside and nobody is unhappy in any dramatic way. Couples here often describe living as roommates, or realising they have not had a real conversation in months.

It is frequently the harder pattern to shift, precisely because there is no crisis forcing the issue. Absence of conflict is not the same thing as connection.

Distressed — lower positivity, higher negativity

High conflict alongside little of the positive material that usually offsets it. This is the pattern where couples most often seek help, and the one where getting help makes the biggest difference to the outcome.

If your result lands here, it does not mean the relationship is over. It means the balance has tipped far enough that it is unlikely to right itself without something changing. If you are not sure whether you want to try, discernment counselling exists for exactly that position — it is designed to help you decide, not to talk you into staying.

Where the PN-RQ comes from

The Positive-Negative Relationship Quality scale was developed by Rogge and colleagues and published in Psychological Assessment. It was built specifically to correct the limitation of single-dimension satisfaction measures, and it has since been validated and adapted in a number of languages.

How it works

Sixteen questions, three to four minutes, answered privately. Nothing is timed and there are no right answers.

At the end you see your score on each dimension, which of the four patterns that combination corresponds to, and a plain explanation of what it means. You can have a copy emailed to you, or sent to your therapist.

If you are doing this as a couple, take it separately and compare. Two partners often land in different quadrants, and the gap between the two results is usually more informative than either result on its own.

It also pairs well with the Experiences in Close Relationships Scale. The PN-RQ describes what the pattern currently is; the ECR-R often explains why it keeps happening.

What this assessment is not

This assessment is for informational and self-reflection purposes only. It is not a diagnostic tool and it does not replace professional medical or psychological advice.

It is also a snapshot of now, not a judgement on the relationship as a whole. Couples move between these patterns across a year, a pregnancy, a bereavement, a house move. Taking it again in a few months will tell you something a single result cannot.

What to do next

If your result names something you have been living with, reach out and we will arrange a consultation, or meet our team first.

The pattern usually has a specific shape. We work on communication, anger, sex and intimacy, affair recovery, grief, depression in a relationship, neurodiverse couples and premarital preparation. Where children are involved there is parenting, co-parenting, blended families and parallel parenting.

If weekly sessions feel too slow, there are couples intensives. You can also read the basics of couples therapy, browse our other self-discovery screeners, or look through our frequently asked questions.