Kimberly Hawks | Couples Therapist

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Associate Marriage and Famiy Therapist ​

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My Story: Marriage, Parenting, and Real-Life Stress​​
 

Welcome! 
 

I’m a wife and mom who knows what it’s like for a relationship to be tested by real life—three children, a husband who travels for work, a dog, in-laws, and being pulled in many directions at once.
 

My husband and I met in college on the East Coast, and in 2025 we celebrated 25 years of marriage.

We have managed cross-country moves, juggled serious medical challenges for one of our children while trying to keep life “normal” for the other two, and navigated times when it felt like our relationship was logistics.

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During the most challenging times, I learned these things:
 

• It’s easy to slide into survival mode and stop truly seeing each other.
   

• Resentment builds quietly when repair doesn’t happen.
   

• Small, daily moments of connection matter far more than grand gestures.
   

Over time, we’ve worked intentionally (and with a couple’s therapist) to stay connected, repair after conflict, and protect our bond in the middle of everything else.
 

Children thrive when their parents are connected and in love. 
 

Helping couples stay connected, resilient, and close is at the heart of my work as a therapist.​​

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How I Work With Couples
 

Couples come to me for many reasons:
 

• Recurring arguments that never really resolve.
   

• Emotional distance, loneliness, or feeling like roommates instead of partners.
   

• Breakdowns in communication, intimacy, or trust.
   

• Stress from parenting, work, health, or extended family that seeps into the relationship.
   

Therapy with me focuses on:
 

• How you relate to yourself.
   

• How you show up with each other—especially when you’re stressed, hurt, or overwhelmed.
   

Together, we:
 

• Map the patterns that keep you stuck (pursue/withdraw, shutdown/flare, criticize/defend).
   

• Learn ways to slow down conflict so it doesn’t run the show.
   

• Build repair skills so hurt doesn’t just get buried and resurface later.
   

• Create realistic, sustainable practices for connection—especially on the busy days, not just the easy ones.
   

My style is direct, compassionate, and practical.

I’m not interested in perfection; I’m interested in helping you build a relationship that functions in real life.

 

Parenting, Crisis, and the Invisible Load

I’ve done hospital all-nighters with one child, returned home in time for soccer carpool for the other two, managed insurance calls, school meetings, and multiple contingency plans.
 

 I know what it’s like to parent kids with different needs while trying to keep everyone afloat—including your partner and yourself.
 

From that lived experience, I help couples and parents:
 

• Name and redistribute the invisible load so one person doesn’t quietly burn out.
   

• Build clear, repeatable routines that stabilize the home.
   

• Have honest and productive conversations about fear, anger, grief, and guilt.
   

• Stay a team when you’re exhausted and pulled in opposing directions.
   

Families don’t need perfection.

They need nervous-system regulation, aligned expectations, clear boundaries, and meaningful repair.

 

Adoption, Attachment, and Complex Family Systems

I was adopted as an infant and grew up with split custody after my adoptive parents divorced.

My story includes:
 

• A mom who came out as a lesbian when I was in first grade and built a large, loving blended family with her wife, children, and step-sibling from a previous relationship.
   

• A dad who remarried, and with whom I lived with on weekends as an only child.
   

• Reuniting with my birth mother as an adult, and learning about my biological family.
   

Living between different households taught me that belonging is built through safety, consistency, and trust—not titles or last names.

In therapy, I bring those attachment lessons into my work with couples and families:

• Predictable care builds trust.
   

• Honest listening, not performative.
   

• Straight talk with warmth.
   

• Small promises kept over time.

 

Blended Families

Growing up across two homes—with different rules, cultures, and expectations—means I understand the complexity of blended families from lived experience.

In session, I help partners and families:

• Clarify roles and expectations so people know where they stand.
   

• Set respectful boundaries that protect the couple and the children.
   

• Create rituals that include everyone.
   

Small, predictable gestures often build trust faster than good intentions.

Working With Adult Adoptees

Adults who were adopted in infancy or childhood often carry unique questions around attachment, identity, and belonging—questions that tend to show up in marriage and parenting.
 

In my work with adult adoptees, I help clients:
 

• Understand how early experiences might influence closeness, trust, and conflict with partners and children.
   

• Explore grief, loss, anger, loyalty conflicts, and longing in a way that is honest and grounded.
   

• Build tools for authentic connection and open conversations about adoption within their own families.
   

You don’t have to choose between honoring where you came from and building where you’re going.

 

Parent Coaching and School Support

Before becoming a therapist, I helped launch two schools—a preschool and a K–8 school—and worked extensively in school administration and admissions.
 

That background helps couples and parents who are:
 

• Navigating IEPs, 504 plans, or behavioral concerns.
   

• Trying to figure out whether a school is a good fit for their child.
   

• Feeling stuck in conversations with teachers or administrators.
   

I help you translate what’s happening at home and at school into language that systems can hear—and support you in advocating for what your child needs.
 

I also bring experience working in elementary school settings and was honored with a California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) award in 2025 for collaborative work with children, their families, specialists, and schools.

 

Neurodiverse Couples and Families (One of My Specialty Areas)

While this site is focused on couples counseling more broadly, one of my specialty areas is working with neurodiverse couples and families—where ADHD, autism, high sensitivity (HSP), or other neurotypes factor into daily life.
 

In these relationships, partners often love each other deeply but keep tripping the same wires:
 

• Intent vs. impact mismatches.
   

• Different processing speeds and communication styles.
   

• Sensory overload and shutdowns.
   

• Executive-function gaps that leave one partner feeling overwhelmed and the other feeling nagged or inadequate.
   

When needed, I help couples:
 

• Develop shared language for differences so they feel understandable, not personal.
   

• Build repair scripts that work with each partner’s nervous system.
   

• Use external supports (reminders, routines, time anchors) to protect the relationship—not to “fix” one partner.
   

• Design connection rituals and intimacy practices that feel safe and sustainable.
   

Neurodiversity doesn’t have to get in the way of connection.

With the right tools, it can become part of your shared understanding.​

 

Treatment Modalities – An Integrative Approach

There’s no single approach that works for every couple.

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I take time to get to know you as individuals and as a pair, and then tailor the work to fit your goals, history, and capacity.

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I draw from a range of therapeutic modalities and current research to support your growth and connection:
 

Foundational Approaches
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), ACT, Humanistic/Person-Centered, Solution-Focused/Brief, Psychodynamic, Behavioral and Social Thinking interventions.
 

Mind–Body & Experiential
Mindfulness, somatic-informed work, and expressive arts to help clients connect with and regulate their internal experiences.

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Relationship & Systems Work
Family Systems Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Relational Life Therapy (RLT) to support connection, accountability, and relational growth.
 

Trauma-Informed Lens
I use a trauma-informed approach in all of my work, emphasizing safety, attunement, and empowerment while processing difficult experiences.
 

Collaboration
When it serves your goals, I collaborate with medical providers, schools, specialists, and educational consultants so your support system is working in the same direction.

 

Education

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• Bachelor of Arts, Psychology — Boston College

• Master of Science, Counseling Psychology — Dominican University of California

 

License & Employment Information

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• Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, #156426

• Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452

• Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers